Ladies, let me ask you something. When you see a man with a full beard, do you get the feeling he’s a full-time adventurous outdoorsy dude who doesn’t have time to shave? And if so, are you strangely attracted to this rugged man not because of his beard (though that mound of facial hair could be considered an added bonus), but because he has the same job as Christopher Columbus?
Or do you see a man with a full beard and assume he hasn’t showered in weeks, lives in a van down by the river, rummages through your recycling bin every night, and can only afford to eat Easy Mac and croutons on a good day?
I only ask because it seems beards are enjoying a minor renaissance, especially in the adventure community. More and more dudes are showing off their mighty beards with reckless abandon, and with no desire for feedback from the opposite sex. This is a potentially dangerous trend.
To grow an impressive beard your bros are jealous of is one thing. To grow an impressive beard no woman will go anywhere near is another. If a respectable adventurous woman will not touch a beard with a 10-foot beard touching pole, future unborn adventurers have a problem.
So for now I’ll wait to hear from the ladies. Do you find beards attractive? Or do you find them downright disgusting? Can a man be considered rugged with a clean shave and fresh hair cut? Would you introduce your parents to your bearded man with last night’s steak dinner lodged in his hairy chin?
And for the record, I am not in the process of growing a beard for two reasons. One, science is never conducted in such a manner. And two, my wife made daily comments on the goatee I was recently growing. Feedback such as “when are you going to shave that crap off your face” does not create an encouraging facial hair growing environment.