Beards: Love ’em or Hate ’em?

Ladies, let me ask you something. When you see a man with a full beard, do you get the feeling he’s a full-time adventurous outdoorsy dude who doesn’t have time to shave? And if so, are you strangely attracted to this rugged man not because of his beard (though that mound of facial hair could be considered an added bonus), but because he has the same job as Christopher Columbus?

Or do you see a man with a full beard and assume he hasn’t showered in weeks, lives in a van down by the river, rummages through your recycling bin every night, and can only afford to eat Easy Mac and croutons on a good day?

I only ask because it seems beards are enjoying a minor renaissance, especially in the adventure community. More and more dudes are showing off their mighty beards with reckless abandon, and with no desire for feedback from the opposite sex. This is a potentially dangerous trend.

To grow an impressive beard your bros are jealous of is one thing. To grow an impressive beard no woman will go anywhere near is another. If a respectable adventurous woman will not touch a beard with a 10-foot beard touching pole, future unborn adventurers have a problem.

So for now I’ll wait to hear from the ladies. Do you find beards attractive? Or do you find them downright disgusting? Can a man be considered rugged with a clean shave and fresh hair cut? Would you introduce your parents to your bearded man with last night’s steak dinner lodged in his hairy chin?

And for the record, I am not in the process of growing a beard for two reasons. One, science is never conducted in such a manner. And two, my wife made daily comments on the goatee I was recently growing. Feedback such as “when are you going to shave that crap off your face” does not create an encouraging facial hair growing environment.

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29 comments

  1. I prefer a man behind a beard. LOL In other words, if the guy has a beard the whole package has to be attractive. BUT if I am only going to stick to your requested topic, I prefer a trimmed beard…not something that looks like a mass of pube hair. I really like mustaches.

  2. I like trimmed beards, too, but I also think guys don’t need beards to look rugged. Long, scraggly, messy beards don’t make a guy look rugged, even if he is wearing the regulation flannel shirt.

    1. I’m sensing a chain store like Target could really cash in on the rugged look. “Introducing our Rugged Line, with regulation flannel shirt, beard trimmers, and much, much more…”

  3. I’ve never kissed a man with a beard before…hhmmm…maybe I’m missing out on something here…In my humble opinion, I would say a ‘trimmed-beard’ (no steak stuck in there~ eww)…can be sexy!

      1. I think that’s why ‘well-trimmed’ is important here…that way it’s just kinda rough n scruffy not, “Hold on babe, I gotta pull this hair outta my teeth…”

    1. Now for the sake of this study, do you keep your beard neat, or do you have chunks of steak hidden deep within its hairy mess?

      1. I generally trim it down every few days, but there were occasions as a younger man when I could pour hot water through it and make soup.

  4. I always assume that a bearded guy is hiding something. And that he drives a van. I would never kiss a man with a beard, however I have plenty of man-friends with them and I’m usually not too disgusted. Especially if I avoid direct eye contact. My husband isn’t allowed more than a few days stubble.

    1. You’re absolutely right. A bearded man can hide just about anything in his “chin fanny pack,” if you will. It’s all fair game: weapons, foreign currency, drug paraphernalia, stolen passports and credit cards, you name it. Some of the most scandalous and dangerous men in history had full beards, from Santa Claus to Osama bin Laden. Not. To. Be. Trusted.

      I’m sensing a great book title here. What do you think about “Beards: A Cautionary Tale”?

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