Guys, let’s say you’re slowly starting to coax your apprehensive wife or girlfriend or mail order bride out into the wilderness.
You’re essentially in a “make or break” situation here. Make, and the two of you will be frolicking hand in hand over long dusty trails for years to come. Break, and you’re on your own buddy.
Follow these three easy steps to have your gal pal skipping showers and snagging fish barehanded in no time.
The great outdoors isn’t always so great when you’re uncomfortable, especially if you’re camping. Remember, a little preparation goes a long way.
- the “bed” is cozy. Passing out in the dirt is a respectable trait, but it’s unacceptable for her.
- to build a fire. Keep her warm.
- to pack fun stuff from home such as boxed wine, cards or a good book.
- to pack bug spray that works. I recommend All Terrain Herbal Armor Insect Repellent.
- to plan tasty meals. One of my favorites in camp is Backcountry Thanksgiving.
Look, you know you’re lost. You know that’s an aggressive bear defending her cubs. And you know there’s always a slight chance you’ll be struck by lightening.
The key here is to not show it. Don’t act like a sissy.
That bear hurling lightening bolts your way? Not a problem.
Things will only get worse if you’re not confident. Don’t compromise your decision making with a weak mind.
3. Game Plan
Don’t just dive into the woods willy-nilly. Go over maps, distances, routes, and weather together.
The worst thing you could do is say “babe, let’s go bushwhack our way through a mosquito-infested swamp in the hopes of finding somewhere suitable to camp before the sun goes down and we freeze to death. Cool?”
See, I told you it would be easy.
I hope I’m not coming off as a sexist pig who thinks women are incapable of holding their own in the woods. I know better than that. There are plenty of women who would put my skills to shame.
And of course there is more to this than making the bed and getting your wife drunk on cheap boxed wine.
Bottom line: it’s best to be considerate. You’re working as a team, after all.