You need a Badass Photo (BP) of yourself. In the event that some annoying twit questions your man/womanhood, it’s best to have at least one BP of you doing something, well, badass.
Without one, you have no tangible proof that you are indeed capable of being a badass and doing badass things. Talk is cheap, my friend.
Suppose you lack a proper BP.
No worries. Follow these four easy steps and you’ll be the one to decide what’s badass or not.
1. Location, location, location
Don’t just stand there looking stupid in front of the elephant cage at the zoo. Go to Africa and take one of those “this is awesome, but I’m about to crap my pants” pictures with the elephants.
2. Illusions are your friend
Oftentimes, a picture does not tell the entire story. Check this out.
Pretty badass, huh? Only thing is, if you were there you’d know that the ground isn’t too far from the rock. My wife did an excellent job of framing only rock, sky, and badass (thanks babe).
This photo provides conclusive evidence that I’m a badass to the unsuspecting person who thinks I’m risking my life. Suckers.
3. Never forget your camera
I can’t stress this enough. I find myself doing about, oh, 1,000, maybe 1,500 badass things a day.
Before I had this BP philosophy figured out, I was always without a camera. I could’ve thrown together a six-hour PowerPoint presentation by now had I been prepared. Don’t make this mistake.
If anything, keep your phone on you. Text all of your contacts after taking your BP. Be sure to say something like “What’s up dudes? I just about killed myself taking this picture. Have fun at the office.”
4. The nature of the activity is important
Clearly you will want to be engaged in a badass activity while shooting your BP. But perhaps you cannot define “badass.”
OK, for starters, Google “badass definition.” Make sure you hit the pronunciation button several times to let the word linger. Badass. Badass. Badass.
Now think about it: is the activity you’re doing tough, aggressive, or uncooperative?
If not, move on. No photo.
There you have it.
You should be well on your way to taking your first Badass Photo. Don’t hesitate to ask questions if you encounter problems with technique, pose, activity, etc.
And please share your BP with me as soon as possible. Otherwise, I don’t believe you.