Why you need a Badass Photo

You need a Badass Photo (BP) of yourself. In the event that some annoying twit questions your man/womanhood, it’s best to have at least one BP of you doing something, well, badass.

Without one, you have no tangible proof that you are indeed capable of being a badass and doing badass things. Talk is cheap, my friend.

Suppose you lack a proper BP.

No worries. Follow these four easy steps and you’ll be the one to decide what’s badass or not.

1. Location, location, location

Don’t just stand there looking stupid in front of the elephant cage at the zoo. Go to Africa and take one of those “this is awesome, but I’m about to crap my pants” pictures with the elephants.

2. Illusions are your friend

Oftentimes, a picture does not tell the entire story. Check this out.

"Hello. I'm standing on a slab of rock that could crack at any moment. Below me is a sheer drop nobody could reasonably survive. Because of this, I am what you might call a badass."

Pretty badass, huh? Only thing is, if you were there you’d know that the ground isn’t too far from the rock. My wife did an excellent job of framing only rock, sky, and badass (thanks babe).

This photo provides conclusive evidence that I’m a badass to the unsuspecting person who thinks I’m risking my life. Suckers.

3. Never forget your camera

I can’t stress this enough. I find myself doing about, oh, 1,000, maybe 1,500 badass things a day.

Before I had this BP philosophy figured out, I was always without a camera. I could’ve thrown together a six-hour PowerPoint presentation by now had I been prepared. Don’t make this mistake.

If anything, keep your phone on you. Text all of your contacts after taking your BP. Be sure to say something like “What’s up dudes? I just about killed myself taking this picture. Have fun at the office.”

4. The nature of the activity is important

Clearly you will want to be engaged in a badass activity while shooting your BP. But perhaps you cannot define “badass.”

OK, for starters, Google “badass definition.” Make sure you hit the pronunciation button several times to let the word linger. Badass. Badass. Badass.

Now think about it: is the activity you’re doing tough, aggressive, or uncooperative?

If not, move on. No photo.

There you have it.

You should be well on your way to taking your first Badass Photo. Don’t hesitate to ask questions if you encounter problems with technique, pose, activity, etc.

And please share your BP with me as soon as possible. Otherwise, I don’t believe you.

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11 comments

  1. Excellent guide to badassery. Sadly, most of my badassery needed both hands to keep my bad ass attached to the rest of me.
    How about battle scars? Do they count for anything?
    because I have a damaged knee that gives me epic pain from repeated skiing/skydiving/climbing adventures.

    I do have a pic of me scuba diving, but really, that just looks kind of goofy…

    1. Dude, battle scars are cool and all, but the proof is in the Badass Photo. We need to get you a GoPro camera or something. Clearly you are a badass. Sadly, you lack a collection of photographic evidence.

  2. This is awesome. I have a similiar photo of myself on the summit of Whitney, where it looks like my legs are hanging over the side of the mountain but really there’s another ledge right underneath. I haven’t told anyone the real situation and they all think I’m a badass.

    1. Now that’s what I’m talking about! Nobody needs to know the real situation. Do everything you can to keep your badass image intact. Keep up the good work, badass!

  3. OK, badasses. We need to collaborate on an official guide to badassery. Call it the “Badasses Guide to Badassery,” perhaps.

    Thoughts?

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